we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
