His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
