I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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