they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
