So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
