He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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