My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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