I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
