I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's blow job season.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
