YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
