Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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