Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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