Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
