Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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