Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Oh god it's open bar.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
