Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
