She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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