I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize