it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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