dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
