These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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