I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
