Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
