I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
