I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
