We named our party play list daddy issues
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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