Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
