you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
