Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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