Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I enjoy the company of your penis
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