absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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