This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
