I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize