My brain says no but my pants say off.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
