i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
