if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
