i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
