I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
