the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize