Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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