I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize