I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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