great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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