Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
