and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I look better un-naked...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
how does that bad decision feel?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
