Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
