I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize