oh god the rape fog is back!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
