textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize