I wanna passion pit in your ass
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
