God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
