with your own penis?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
