why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
