Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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