i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
