you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
