she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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