this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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